Not Shown, Yet Realized
by gDeIpVhIrNoEtt
Summary: There were words not said, feelings not revealed, and most importantly, a love that was unspoken yet could only be burned to ashes. Hagas deathfic, spoilers for Ch. 35-36


_**WARNING: DEATHFIC. **_

_**HagasxFilka: one of the most tragic love stories in the animanga world that I have ever come across. Who would've thought stale and morose Hagas would even fall in love...haha. HEAVY HEAVY spoilers for Chapter 35-36. For those who have not read 35-36, Hagas also has Tenzaibyou, the same illness that King Temudan has. After he finally sees his brother, Teg, again, he entrusts his will to his brother. The prison/maze starts collapsing, and Hagas is hit by a sharp, giant boulder, killing him and making Urumiya whole. If you read Ch. 36, you will understand that only one of the twins is needed for Genbu's summoning. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the plot. I only own the ghost/limbo part. This is just a novelization of Hagas' death in what I think is his POV. Please tell me what you think.**_

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**Not Shown, Yet Realized**

"_If anyone lives, be the one._" Those were the last words he said to her. He knew, that Filka has already read between his lines - which actually meant, "_Goodbye, my beloved. I'll be with you soon._"

Hagas regretted leaving her behind there, all alone - defenseless, loveless. How he wished that he was able to feel Filka in his arms much, much, longer. No - how he wished he would never have had to let go and break that embrace. His coat was still wet with Filka's tears from earlier, and the warmness of her heart and her body - the softness, the comfort - still lingered on his stale, stale heart, comforting it, but only to break it into pieces again.

The pain kept resurfacing. Fading, resurfacing. This process would repeat, then introduce a much more burning and stable pain within him. But it wasn't the illness that threatened to bring tears to his stale eyes, which were marred by the explosion of unbearable pain inside him. Though Filka's cries were fading as they kept going farther, Hagas still felt that pang of guilt and regret in his heart. To see the woman he love cry before him, and to realize that he was the cause of her tears, and to realize that he could do nothing to make them go away - it was a pain that rivalled the acid-like sensation of Tenzaibyou. It was a pain that broke his heart to pieces, one by one, slowly and painfully.

Takiko didn't utter a word as they were heading for the Council Hall, where King Temudan - their mutual current person of interest - was. It didn't take long for Hagas to realize that Takiko didn't have much long to live, either. He saw her cough up blood enough times to convince himself.

_But how could he judge? When he was all the same? _

Second by second, the territory the pain conquered on his body was increasing, spreading like a hyper virus. The pain kept amplifying and amplifying that he was already beginning to wonder how he can still move. Cell by cell, he knew, each of them was dying, taken over by the Tenzaibyou. As time passed, it was becoming harder and harder for him to even move. A pain like burning acid circled around and around his whole being in a rapid pace, over and over again, never stopping, getting more painful at each round.  
But the heartbreak to see Filka crying - and the heartbreak of having to accept the fact that they would never see each other again - it was much more painful. Hagas knew it.  
As they reached the Council Hall, Hagas wiped a tear that trickled down his face. Fighting them, however, proved to be even much more difficult.

The Council Hall was exactly as it should be. Ministers, Officials, and high-ranking people alike stood reverently in two, neat, orderly lines, the royal carpet between them. The sensation of glory and valor was so strong inside that it appeared to be something both visible and tangible. King Temudan Rowun sat valiantly on his throne, posture and demeanor of a true royal. He was that type of king - the pride of a genuine Rowun and the concern and understanding as if he was one of Hokkan's citizens. It was what made him so well-loved among his people. Two vital qualities combined that made him such a perfect king. You stood in awe and respect before him, but he was the type of person whom you can feel comfortable with telling every single one of your problems.

The subsequent events were plain as salt to Hagas. Temudan has given him the key to the maze - meaning that he would finally see his brother. His brother, who was the reason he was standing here at this very moment. His brother, the person he would have given everything for. His brother, the only person he really cared about. His brother - his soul, his life...

But it didn't seem that way anymore. He knew it wasn't the Tenzaibyou. Filka's wails and sobs still rang in his ears. Those miserable, heart-wrenching sounds that he could still hear - tearing him apart in such a way that made Tenzaibyou appear like nothing.

Hagas went ahead to the maze to fetch his brother, and Takiko stayed behind to explain the false prophecy to Temudan.

Teg wasn't in Hagas' mind when his younger brother was on his way to him. Hagas wouldn't deny that. Though he knew that Teg was the reason he did everything, it seemed like Teg was already a faraway, unknown person.

Not even when Hagas was actually saw the prisoner in front of him.  
Not even when Hagas was finally able to see and exchange words with him.  
Not even when Hagas has entrusted his legacy to his twin brother,

Teg still wasn't the one on his mind.

_It was her. It was Filka._

The pain and the heartbreak was so intense, that not even the sharp rock that pierced his heart managed to make him flinch. Not even holding his elder brother in his arms could lighten his pain. As the small, still a child, Teg was hiding under the protective arms of his brother, the kid was just shaking and trembling in an attempt to deal with the confusion.

_ hfhfhfhfhfhfhhf_

_Hagas didn't know whether he was already dead or was still alive - the best guess he had was that he was on a limbo. _

_Suddenly, a vision came over him, flooding his senses. He was not in Teg's Underground Prison anymore - he was back upstairs, in the palace. _

_A beautiful blonde girl was kneeling on the floor in what Hagas recognized as his room - crying. Her face still covered in her slender, archer hands, the sobs sounded muffled. It was the same heart-wrenching sound that Hagas wouldn't ever want to hear again. A small wave of comfort permeated through his heart as he saw his beloved again. But he was still accepting the fact that he alone was to blame for her tears. _

_"Filka," he tried to say, though he knew he wouldn't be heard because he was just in a limbo. He didn't even know whether this was real or fake. _

_He thought he saw the girl's face jerk up suddenly, as if she actually heard him. Her face was so disfigured, her heart trying to contain all the pain and the loss. The tears wet her exceptionally beautiful face, the unpleasant emotion distorting her expression into something painful to look at. Hagas wanted to wipe every single tear away, to hold her and kiss away all the pain she felt, and assure her that everything's all right. _

_But he knew it wasn't. _

_Filka's voice was shaky - it was still obvious that she wouldn't stop crying soon. "..H-Hag..as?" she managed to say between sobs, her voice uncertain. _  
_Hagas had never heard such a voice in his whole life. It was a voice that was so lost, so helpless, so...vulnerable. A voice very unlike the Filka she knew. Very unlike the Filka who saved his life before, very unlike the Filka who shot down people to protect the Priestess - _

_Very unlike the Filka whom he came to love._

_Her blonde head looked hither and thither, as if she was looking for Hagas. Hagas thought that he was visible and tangible when Filka rushed forward to his direction. _

_But she just fell to the ground again. He was transparent. _

_Her sobs and her wails began resurfacing after that. More tears than ever came, flooding her pale, pale face. Soon, they continued their way down her neck and then her collar was wet. Still, the tears wouldn't stop. _

_Hagas felt around, then knelt down to be at the same height. He swept his powerful arms, the same arms that assassinated people, his arms that could shake the ground - around Filka's frail shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. Filka seemed to return the embrace, gently gripping the fingers in acknowledgement. Before Hagas faded away, he whispered into her ear, _

_"My beloved...live. Never forget that I always love you. I'm sorry...for leaving." _

_How he wished he could've told Filka those words earlier._


End file.
